How it all started...

This is baby me

Hi everyone!  My name is Akina and I'm 5 years old.  Six weeks into my life, I was separated from my mother and put into a shelter with a couple of my siblings.  I was at the shelter for 2 weeks before a man came in and fell in love with me. This man, who later became my dad, focused only on petting me.  He spoke to me in a gentle voice, especially for being so big compared to little old me.  However, I did find him annoying since I had been mid-nap when he walked in.  He closed my cage, admired the other cats, and then left.  A few days later he came back with a female, and they took me to their home.  

My idiot brother Marty

Without my other siblings, I had been hoping to have the place to myself.  I was not so lucky. I was introduced to another cat and he was a bit bigger than I was.  Martin is his name but everyone called him Marty.  I had to stay in the bedroom for the first few day to get adjusted to my surroundings.  I had peace and quiet.  The humans fawned over me.  I also had a nice big bed all to myself.  However, after a couple weeks the humans insisted on introducing me to Martin.  We were put in the bathroom together a few times, and the humans sat there stupidly watching me and my new big brother.  Martin was a pain in my ass from the get go.  

Martin is really dumb.  He's a big guy with big teeth, but he has the brain capacity of a gerbil.  The first couple times we hung out he tried to chase me.  All I had to do was meow and cry before the humans intervened.  I thought for sure they'd be pissed enough to kick him out and I'd have the place to myself. No such luck.  A few of these instances occurred and each time I played the helpless victim.  I had hoped the humans would banish him from my new home but it didn't work out.  One morning Martin jumped on me.  Instead of attacking and sealing his fate, he licked me and started cleaning me.   Gross!  I can clean myself thank you very much, dear brother.  As violating as it was being licked by this other cat, the humans took this to be a sign of friendship and caring.  

Me, my father, Martin and that human female I didn't like so much lived together.  Most of the time I spent training my dumb older brother, and playing innocent with the humans. They thought he was the terror of the house, but they just didn't know he didn't do anything unless I told him.  After a couple years my father had the good sense to get rid of that human female. She was an overly emotional mess of a woman who invaded my personal space way too often.  She had no respect for how hard I had to work to keep my fur this soft and perfect. 

Life was alright for a while.  I was outnumbered by two men in the house, which wasn't pretty.  It was a stinky place.  Then one day, another human female started coming around.  She was clearly interested in my father, though let us be honest she could do much better. My father was as dense as Martin and didn't pick up on the fact that this new female liked him.  I did all I could to welcome her.  The new girl, Angela, was my kind of human.  She respected my space, didn't mess up my fur and was always on my side.  She was the most put together person of this little family, besides me of course.

After a while my father wised up to the idea of being with Angela and they got together.  It took him a while, and I think it helped that I was super nice to Angela, I'm never nice to anyone.  Angela is my mommy now.   She stays over a lot but doesn't live with us yet.  If she's as smart as I think she is, she's waiting for dad to get a new place and demand Martin get kicked out.  However, if that doesn't happen I'll be fine with Martin sticking around since he does all my dirty work.  I've kind of grown fond of manipulating my big brother.   

I have the humans wrapped around my finger, especially Daddy.  Mommy is too smart and has figured out I'm the brains of the operation but she still likes me.  Martin is my fall guy.   I have a pretty sweet life, a life of a princess some might say.  It's good to be me.